"Dr. Baker says I would have to choose between life and death. I'm choosing death."

If that statement really is in the Rome note, what does it mean?

Grant says "to think that the doctor was telling Kurt that suicide was some kind of option, is absurd!, and thinks its obvious to any person, with the least bit of common sense, that this doctor is simply telling Kurt that if he doesn't get off drugs, he'd eventually die from them."

Grant thinks that to Kurt, who was addicted to heroin, the response meant that he was going to do what he wanted, even if he might eventually die from his drug addiction. Heroin withdrawal involves physician pain and torment. This would be a typical response from a severe heroin addict who was afraid, or wasn't ready to kick an overwhelming heroin addiction.

"A self-destructive comment? Yes. But, suicidal? No. Ask any therapist. There is a huge difference between the two."

So a simple statements from Kurt in which he says he would make his own choices in his life, even if the use of heroin might eventually kill him, got twisted by Courtney into something she thought she could use to convince everyone that "he wanted to kill himself".

Grant also notes that the incident in Rome was never called a "suicide attempt, by anyone, until after Kurt had died in Seattle. The doctor in Rome even said he believed the overdose was an accident. Dr. Galleta says, "The last image I have of him, which in light of the tragedy now seems pathetic, is of a young man playing with the little girl. He did not seem like a young man who wanted to end it all."

In the book "COBAIN" by the editors of Rolling Stone, Neil Strauss writes about the Rome incident: "Gold Mountain, [Nirvana's management company], still denies that a suicide attempt was made. A note was found, says a company spokesman, but Kurt insisted it wasn't a suicide note. He just took all of his and Courtney's money and was going to run away and disappear."

Grant says: "Was it or wasn't it? Well, Kurt Cobain, the person who wrote the note, insisted it was not a suicide note. What more do we need here?! Now if Kurt was lying, Courtney could simply release the note from Rome to the public. That would prove she was telling the truth. It would prove Kurt did try to commit suicide in Rome."

But there's a little problem here. On January 19th 1995, during the tape recorded telephone conversation Grant had with Courtney, she told him that when the police returned the note from Rome to her, Sgt. Cameron said "This will never do you any good. I'd get rid of this if I were you."

"So, I burned it", Courtney says.